More revisions

I've been silent lately, but I've been whittling away at my stories, both original and fanfictiony.

The editing on "Six" is starting to come together. Revisions on the first three chapters are now mostly completed, and they were the chapters that were giving me the most issues. I've still got quite a bit to do, but I belive the most intensive chunk of editing has passed.

(Also, I graduated high school. Cool. More on this may follow.)

News, plus stories?

Over the past few days I've been trying to warm myself back up into writing/editing "Six," so I can finally start tackling the task of editing or writing it again. I anticipate that I will probably have made some progress by the end of next week, so maybe all the "Six" fans out there won't have to steal my soul.

There's another thing on my mind, too. Writing original stories has become such a part of my routine that I can probably say that I spend more time with originals than fan fiction now, with exception of maybe a few periods a couple months ago when I was doing serious revisions for "Six" almost daily. I still have lots of old, unfinished, unedited stories out there that I started and left open for me to finish later in the world of fan fiction. This includes expected novel-length works like "The Ambassador," which I eventually put aside because I couldn't think of any advantages of working my butt off for fan fiction when I could write original stuff instead.

So, my question to you guys is: would you like to see these stories released? A while, I was thinking about posting a story on FFN that was nothing but a collection of story fragments, things that I'd never completely developed enough to be stand-alone stories.

Lemme know what you think.

"Six" revisions (and music)!

So, a little bit of news for "Six:"

Over the past few days, I've been going back and revising "Six," starting with the beginning. Basically, I'm tired of having to deal with a beginning that doesn't sufficiently set up for the rest of the story (at the time of posting the beginning I was thinking that the fic might reach a max of 15,000 words and three days).

It's been fun doing this, as I get to see the kinds of choices I made in the beginning again, and how they fit the original intention, but not my current one. I'm sure most of my revisions will be made on only the first few chapters, so I don't think the later parts of the story will be affected too much.

In other news, I've composed a small orchestral symphony for "Six to Bereavement." I'll be posting it with the next chapter. (Expect the next chapter to be relatively short, as I have a lot of authors-notey things to say when I release it.)

(These things are my ways of saying, "I meant to release the next chapter on Christmas, but I got distracted and decided to do other things instead.")

ETA: I posted part of a draft of the first chapter's revisions up on jaslazulstories.blogspot.com.

Busybusybusy

Sorry for the delays, but the last few weeks have been pretty crazy for me, and I don't see it letting up any time soon. I'm often struggling to find time to write, and struggling to find time in that time to focus on "Six." I have some other fanfics in progress, but they're not developed enough that I feel an announcement is necessary.

The keen-eyed might note that I've killed my forums. It's something I've wanted to do for a while, and it took seeing that I've only received one hit in the past two months (from a beta-seeker) to spur me to doing it. If there's anything that you really feel you want to read, such as my tutorials, send me a message... but bear in mind that I did delete the forums for a reason.

(Don't take this as a sign that I'm abandoning the Star Fox community. Apocrypha has always had my full support, but it ultimately failed to serve its purpose. It was a far too ambitious community, with far too little marketing, to run smoothly in the Star Fox section.)

ETA: Note that there's a very good forum on FFN, "Writers Anonymous," that you can find on the common forums listing. Lots of brilliant writers go there, and it's definitely worth investigating.

"Six" chapter up

So, the latest chapter of "Six" is up. You should all go read it now.

I'm now making my blog the official "afterthoughts of posting a chapter" place, since placing notes in the story itself is slack.

So, afterthoughts. Basically I said "Screw it" and posted it after my last set of revisions, so there are probably some errors, but after working with editing the same chapter for weeks, I think it's time to for it to go on out.

Also it ventures dangerously close to M-rating, but eh, the story will go where it goes. The few times I've tried to resist the natural flow of a story, it's always ended up bad.

Anyway. I am tired, so I will now go to sleep before I start typing jibberish.

Progress update

So, the new chapter of "Six" has been done for a while. Right now I'm working on writing up the chapter after that.

I anticipate the next chapter will be lot of people's favorite chapter. I'm a bit unsure about some of the stuff I'm doing, and there's a lot of stuff near the end of it that seem a little wonky and I might eventually be taking out. But eh, it should be a fun chapter, if I do it right.

New chapter

So, there's a new chapter of "Six" up. Go check it out; it's not as "OMGWTFBBQSOMEONESETUSUPTHEBOMB" as the last chapter, but it's still okayish. (If every chapter was "OMGWTFSOMEONESETUSUPTHEBOMB," then it would be boring, anyway).

I've got most of the next chapter written and I'm starting on the one after that. Hopefully it won't take too long to get the next one up. I anticipate that a lot of people will really like it. Some won't, but the ones who won't probably shouldn't be reading my fics to start with.

Overall, I can say that so far I've had plenty of time to write here, maybe more than I did at my old school because I'm getting distracted by video games a lot less here.

But as I usually say, We Shall See. "Six" keeps getting longer and longer in my head, but maybe it won't be too long before we start to get near the end.

Plot devices

You know how when you read a story and it seems like it's going in one direction, then something convenient happens and it's starts going somewhere else? For example, the characters spend forever searching for X, then they... arbitrarily find X by chance. Or, in romance, you have two love-stricken characters who are paralyzed by shyness, but something convenient happens that confines 'em together.

In both cases it's a shift of direction, but I'll start with the latter example of romance because it's simpler. Before I explain anymore, let's address something: what is a story?

Character A wants something and something is preventing him from getting it.

How is a novel structured?

inciting incident -> rising action - > CLIMAX <- falling action <- conclusion

Basically, in the beginning, you introduce a conflict. In the romance story, that conflict is shyness. A good, logical story would have the character CONFRONT and SOLVE that issue on his own--when that happens, that's the climax. Such a progression would be the natural path of the story.

(Does that path sound boring to you? It does to me. That's because the conflict is extremely weak; it could never create a strong novel on its own. But that's an issue for another day.)

Often, what happens instead of the natural path of the story--because that story is very weak--is a plot device that sends the story spiraling into another direction. Something shoves the characters together, and shyness is no longer that much of an issue. Sure, it's still there, but the characters no longer have to approach each other. In furry fiction, this is usually the point at which they get together, make perfect first-time sex, and the story ends:

weak inciting incident -> weak conflict -> plot device -> climax (pun'd)

Now, it is possible for a plot device there to instead carry the story to a really strong position:

weak inciting incident -> weak conflict -> strong plot device -> strong rising action -> ...

This is what I call discontinuity syndrome--the story starts weak with a weak conflict, then a plot device sends it spiraling into a strong, tense work of fiction. Sometimes, you can do that on purpose and use it to your advantage, and you'll know when that opportunity comes. Generally, though, that's not what we want to do.

In my opinion, if you have a story that looks like the above diagram, you're starting in the wrong place. Start with the REALLY BIG CONFLICT that everyone wants to read about. You don't have to smack everyone in the face with it on the first page, but you really should open a book at a strong point, not a weak one. Work the weak conflict into the strong one.

For example, instead of having the characters meet each other, go gaga over each other, then get forced together, open the book where they get forced together. Their feelings could now be distracting them from the plot--that's a conflict, stronger than shyness, that produces tension and helps drive the story forward. Heck, maybe when the plot's at the climax and there's about to be a BIG EPIC BATTLE, that can motivate them to get together--or as I would do, have them break off.

Basically, what we DO NOT WANT is a Plot Device that shifts the focus of the story--meaning that it solves a conflict that the characters otherwise would've had to solve on their own. Honestly, why do it for them? You're killing your own story by nuking the tension.

There's a special type of plot device called a deus ex machina that's pretty similar to what I'm talking about, and I'm sure it's familiar to just about about all readers of fan fiction.

Deus ex Machina: a writer writes himself into a corner, and the characters can't resolve the conflicts on their own, so the writer pulls a god out of his ass and it solves the conflict for them.

More technical definition:

A deus ex machina is something that resolves the plot in place of the characters; the characters never solve X problem, because some outside force does it for them.

The classic example of a deus ex machina is "It was just a dream" syndrome, where something terrible happens, except it didn't. Or maybe something terrible is about to happen the protagonist, and someone arbitrarily saves them (I'm looking at you, Tom Bombadil).

Contrary to popular belief, deux ex machinae are not *all* bad, but most of them are. One that's really good is the one at the end of Basil's "Finding Time." There's one at the end of Hamlet, too. Just stick with my definition and never let a deus ex machina solve the major conflict.

For the record, though, you are given one plot device that you are automatically allowed to use to get the story going. It's my belief that the inciting incident should come from a plot device that sets the story on a certain direction--and it should stay on that same path the whole time. Of course, the characters might not always know exactly what path they're supposed to be taken, and that's fine.


And that leads me to the good plot devices. Yes, they exist! And if you don't use them, you are silly.

Let's take the imaginary novel in which the goal is for particle physicists to discover the Higgs boson (force-carrying particle that determines objects' mass). Let's look at the natural path:

inciting incident (someone predicts the Higgs's existence) -> rising action (physicists construct the LHC, a huuuuuuuge particle accelerator, and run into all kinds of problems along the way) -> CLIMAX (They find the particle!) <- falling action (Celebrations, awards...) <- Conclusion (The results are published.)

Since we know what a bad plot device is, let's examine a few:

1.) someone else finds it first;
2.) someone else proves that it doesn't exist;
3.) the LHC appears to lack the strength to detect the particle

Now let's look back at the natural path of the story. It's not bad, but I as a writer have a problem with it: it's too linear. I ask myself, "Who'd want to read that story?" and I don't get any answer besides "physics nerds!" From the very beginning, you can pretty much tell that they're going to find the particle. End of story.

Here's a trick to writing. People do not want predictable stories. They want stories that are predictably unpredictable. You can have them find the Higgs if you want, but I might choose to take a different path.

What if the particle collisions have enough energy to force open some of space's extra six dimensions? What if it creates a "bubble" of 9D space that researchers can enter? What if inside the bubble, they find not only the Higgs, but other particles that allow them to act in unheard of ways in the existing three dimensions? What if it allows them to write the equation of the universe?

I know it's physics-nerd science fiction, but it's the basis for good physics-nerd science fiction, if you do it well enough. The researchers could all agree to keep the unlocking of the universe secret, but maybe one of them could betray the pact and try to use new-found science to make himself into God. So the researchers not only have to stop the mad scientist, but also answer reports and provide fake test results for those who funded their research.

Those are the kinds of plot devices you want to use. As cliché as the last example sounds, it's much more interesting than a boring linear story.

But aside from those kinds of things, I just really dislike plot devices. iDunno.

Progress

So, I finally have a decent handle on the face, and I'm back to working on "Six." This next chapter's going to be a pretty fun one to post.

I've also been doing a bit of thinking about some of my other stories, and I still want to write a oneshot to get my mind out of Six-loops. We'll find out where all this goes, eventually.

Editing

So, right now I'm going through chapters of "Six" and of some other stuff I've written and trying to tidy them up for publication. I'm noticing that a lot of the stuff I thought I did well, I actually did horrible; and some of the stuff I was afraid would be bad is actually decent.

The point is: nothing is ever going to be as you think it is as you are writing it. No matter how good you are or how much experience you have, you're always going to be surprised when you go back and read through what you've written. Most of the time, the words on the page are not exactly what you'd intended to say, and you have to fix that as you go back through and read.

But that's not all editing is. Sometimes, the story, not the words, doesn't go in the right direction. Sometimes you realize that you're trying to intrude on it, force it to go where you want it to (I'm as guilty of that as anyone else). That's when editing gets hard, because you have to use your discretion to decide what needs changing.

I'm at a point in "Six" right now that I have some major plot decisions coming up, and I'm not really sure how to tackle them. Sure, I've tackled them roughly; but I can do better, and I know that the story, as it is, is not heading in a good direction. That means I'm going to be spending a good bit of time editing these next chapters to get it on track--that means getting rid of some of the stuff I'd originally felt was necessary and modifying some pretty important plot points to make the story stronger.

(Note: this is not butchering the story to make it read better to the fandom. This is undoing the butchering I've already done and returning the story to the state it should be. You have to learn the difference.)

With each scene I introduce in these next chapters, I focus on tension. The problem is that the story has enough tension as it is.

When you're writing, especially with drama and suspense, you need to ask yourself constantly, "What will make the readers want to turn the page?" (I think that's something that just about every writer has to be aware of in order to be a success.) But you also need to ask yourself, "Where is this story going?"

Right now, I have the suspense and drama building to a boiling point. What I don't have is a direction, and my task in editing for these next few days is to find it.

(For the record, I have to do things like this regularly. Nothing that I or anyone else writes will ever automatically turn to gold; writing is about work ethic as much as it is about talent.)

In music, everything one plays needs to lead somewhere, else it's just a bunch of noise. It can be good noise, but it won't be music. The same can be said with writing. Focus on fundamentals and readability all you want, but without a clear character arc (or something to follow), it is not a story.

rantrantrant

Back with an update

Sorry I had to disappear off the face of the planet for a while, but eh, like some lulzy post from chaos Leader, (sh)it happens.

Most of said stuff is done with now, and I have loads of free time that I have no clue how to manage. So, hopefully that'll mean moarwriting.

I posted the next chapter of "Six"--it has a few typically not-my-style elements in it, and nothing really happens, but eh, it's a necessary evil. (Or so I think.)

As always, drop me a line to let me know what you think. Hoping these updates will be coming a bit more frequently, but eh, it's been a month or so since I've set fingers to keys in OOo, so we'll see how that works out.

Update and advice

A quick update on my progress with "Six:" I have two and a half chapters completed ahead of schedule as of right now--but they're tentative, at best. I'm going to be doing some weird stuff in the next few chapters, so I'll have to see where it takes me before I'll feel comfortable posting any of it.

Because I am lazy and still haven't finished the stuff I'd planned to post on here (characterization, diction, scene decisions, etc.), I'm going to cop out and pull up a David Marnet article KG linked one day on his LJ. (Which is a bonus because I don't know what I'm talking about half the time, anyway; professional advice trumps anything I could say.) See it here.

It's an article from a screenwriter's perspective on how to write drama. Though not everything in it directly applies to writing, most of it does, and the understanding of several of Marnet's points are essential for good writing.

Along with said posting on LJ came these notes, which I feel obligated to reproduce because they also touch on some issues I hear about fairly often in this fandom:

My favorite excerpts (but you really need to read the whole thing):

QUESTION:WHAT IS DRAMA? DRAMA, AGAIN, IS THE QUEST OF THE HERO TO OVERCOME THOSE THINGS WHICH PREVENT HIM FROM ACHIEVING A SPECIFIC, ACUTE GOAL.

SO: WE, THE WRITERS, MUST ASK OURSELVES OF EVERY SCENE THESE THREE QUESTIONS.

1) WHO WANTS WHAT?
2) WHAT HAPPENS IF HER DON’T GET IT?
3) WHY NOW?


and

HERE ARE THE DANGER SIGNALS. ANY TIME TWO CHARACTERS ARE TALKING ABOUT A THIRD, THE SCENE IS A CROCK OF SHIT.

ANY TIME ANY CHARACTER IS SAYING TO ANOTHER “AS YOU KNOW”, THAT IS, TELLING ANOTHER CHARACTER WHAT YOU, THE WRITER, NEED THE AUDIENCE TO KNOW, THE SCENE IS A CROCK OF SHIT.

DO NOT WRITE A CROCK OF SHIT.

YMMV, as always, but you could do a lot worse than keep the above in mind when trying to write something dramatic. For novels, the standards are a bit looser--you don't *want* every scene to be FULL OF DRAMA. You need to pace it out, build tension, and so on. I also think you can stretch the "two characters talking about a third" when the third is a dramatic figure--think about Al Capone in "The Untouchables." One of the most memorable scenes is Sean Connery telling Kevin Costner in the church "that's how you get Al Capone."

But if you're worried that your story is too flat, not gripping enough in the places where it should be, well, go back and re-read those rules. It's also possible to have a lot of STUFF happening in an action scene and still have it be boring because while it is active, there is no drama. Again, check the points above. What does the character want? What's stopping him/her from getting it?

Happy writing! Hopefully the update to six might maybe possibly perhaps be finished sometime within the next year. Or two weeks.

"The Ambassador" Preview

In light of a few asking about The Ambassador, I've posted the first chapter up on the stories blog. Find it at:

http://jaslazulstories.blogspot.com/2010/04/ambassador-preview.html

This is turning out to be a deep story, even though it started as something half-comedic. It's a thematic story with lots of allusions and careful diction to hint at its message. It is not a romance story, though it might have a few romantic subplots (with whom, I do not yet know; each person I've shown it to sees it spiraling in a different direction). It's pseudo-fanfiction, meaning that it's set in Lylat, playing heavily upon settings like Corneria and upon game events like the Command ending that ends in the settlement of Venom. All the characters, though, are my own.

My biggest issues right now are at the beginning and at my current point, trying to figure out what to do next. There are different ways I could take this story, all of which lending it different themes and plots.

In other words: tell me what you'd like to see, even if it's something silly. Or just say what you think about it--you guys have no idea how much just hearing an opinion sometimes can influence the path of a story. And if you're really good, you can suggest stuff for the beginning (the one that I don't like very much)!

Anyway--in the words of Guardian1: enjoy yourself; I know I do.

Six update

So, uh. Next chapter of "Six" is up. Sorry it took so long, but I took most of this last week off for personal reasons. I'll also be taking most of this next week off for business reasons, so don't expect another update for at least another week or two.

In other news, I've been contemplating writing a short FFIX oneshot/twoshot. I'm going to start it tonight, but who knows? Maybe it'll end up as another thing that never gets in shape or fully written. (I certainly won't finish it tonight, and like I said earlier, this next week will be murderous for me.)

Writing: disconnection

One of my biggest turn-offs when reading a story is seeing the author pop out at me, meaning that if I know the writer personally or read his profile (less so on that, though), the language there is the same as in the stories.

Stephen King's On Writing has a big section on how you should write--meaning what environment you should be in. Should you have a giant desk? Use pen and paper? Dark or light? Door open or closed? He addresses all of these topics (leaving most of them to the writer's discretion), but one of the things he asserts is that you must never come to the blank page lightly.

When I read a story where it feels like A Person and not An Author is telling the story, I feel like That Person has come to the blank page lightly.

I read Cloud Atlas recently, and one of the most amazing parts of the book was seeing the drastic shifts in style. The book uses six short stories (mirrored; it's complicated) all from different time periods (1800s to the post-apocalyptic future), and each one has a distinct, perfectly-crafted style. The first is a Brontë-esque journal, followed by a fiery series of narrative letters, a tight-knit manuscript for a suspense novel, a memoir of an arrogant publisher, an interview with a clone, and a story by an uneducated man. Following is an example passage from each different section of the novel.

After the service, the doctor & I were approached most cordially by an elder "mainmast' of that chapel, one Mr. Evans, who introduced Henry & me to his good wife (both circumvented the handicap of deafness by answering only those questions they believed had been asked & accepting only those questions they believed had been uttered--a strategem embraced by many an American advocate) & their twin sons, Keegan & Dyfedd.

Couldn't say if Ayrs felt humor, pity, nostalgia, or scorn. He left. Locked the door and climbed into bed for the third time that night. Bedroom farce, when it actually happens, is intensely sad. Jocasta seemed angry with me.

"Before I left Swannekke, I gave Garcia a present to give to you, just a dolce far niente." He tries to make the sentence sound casual.

What in God's name is he talking about?

"You hear me, Luisa? Garcia has a present for you."

A more alert quarter of Luisa's brain muscles in. Isaac Sachs left the Sixsmith Report in your VW. You mentioned the trunk didn't lock. He assumes we are being eavesdropped. "That's very kind of you, Isaac. Hope it didn't cost you too much."

A trio of teenettes, dressed like Prostitue Barbie, approached, drift-netting the width of the pavement. I stepped into the road to avoid collision. But as we drew level they tore wrappers off their lurid ice lollies and just dropped them. My sense of well-being was utterly V-2'd. I mean, we were level with a bin! Tim Cavendish the Disgusted Citizen exclaimed to the offenders: "You know, you should pick those up."

You have no rests?
Only purebloods are entitled to "rests," Archivist. For fabricants, "rests" would be an act of time theft. Until curfew at hour zero, every minute must be devoted to the service and enrichment of Papa Song.

Now you people're lookin' at a wrinkly buggah, mukelung's nibblin' my breath away, an' I won't be seein' many more winters out, nay, nay, I know it. I'm shoutin' back more'n forty long years at myself, yay, at Zachry the Niner, Oy, list'n! Times are you're weak 'gainst the world! Times are you can't do nothin'! That ain't your fault, it's this busted world's fault is all! But no matter how loud I shout, Boy Zachry, he don't hear me nor never will.

I cannot distinguish a single trace of David Mitchell in any of this. Each one of these different styles is crafted to suit the story it's trying to tell--in fact, it's almost like there are six David Mitchells, each writing his own part of it. I can definitely tell that, however many of them there are, he did not come to the page lightly. When I read this story, instead of thinking, "This author is trying to tell me a story," I just see a story. That's the way any writing should be, and if you can do it that well (among other things), you're bound for success.

tl;dr: You cannot write the way you want to write. You must write the way the story tells you to write.

"Six" and Romance

Quick update on "Six:" I just got back from the all-state clinic, and as soon as I get a handle on schoolwork, I'll update. I'll hopefully have it up soon.

Now, on to romance. This is something that's been floating around in my head for quite a bit now and has been growing as I write "Six" and a few original projects.

When dealing with romance, especially not-so-good romance, it's usually pretty simple to identify the problem: everything is perfect and happy and fluffy and everyone wants character Q to get it on with character G. Que pitfall #1--no conflict.

There's also another category of ehh romance that people are less apt to recognize. Some writers take Stories Need Conflict a bit too seriously and end up with a romantic relationship that leaves the reader asking, "Why are these two even together?" Que pitfall #2--no romance. (Having two characters kiss or sleep together does not constitute romance.)

Before moving on to my next point, I want to repeat something that I've heard countless times before: "Writing is a balance." The keen-eyed will notice that the two common pitfalls of romance, like most pitfalls in writing, are opposites. You have to find the blend that works best for your story, and no writing guide on the planet can tell you what that is.

My third point is a bit more obscure and personal. When you write something, you should write it for a reason. If you're writing a romance to get two characters together, chances are that you are writing for the wrong reason.

A trip to any local bookstore or fiction 'site reveals hundreds of stories of people getting together; in order to stand out, you have to write about something more. If you don't, your work will never surpass mediocracy. When I write, I write about how a romantic relationship changes the characters based on their life situations. I'm not saying everyone has to do that, but there should be some value to every romantic piece beyond romance, in the same way that an action piece is never only about who stabs whom. The romance should be there, and it had better be good, but if you want to succeed, it can't be the be-all end-all of your fic.

For example, the romantic subplot in Echoes is about how romance can get in the way of greater things and how Fox's attitude towards it changes throughout the story. In Redemption, it's a story about Wolf's internal conflict. In "Bed of Lies," it's about the chaos and tension it can unleash.

I had this discussion with someone a while back and figure I'd share it: with all my Star Fox fics, I usually end up writing about Fox and Wolf in some way, but the stories are never the same. Each story is a different story, a new take on a different situation. They all share the same basic romantic subplot (though Redemption is by far the most in-depth and ill-executed, falling into Pitfall Number Two), but their different foci allow for the development of much different stories.

Question

So, as I'm writing "Six" (up to 18k words right now), I'm encountering a few things that I've never had to deal with before, and that leads me to a question that I must ask my readers:

Up until this point, I have mainly been doing progress updates on this journal. I am aware of a few popular writers' journals that also give occasional writing advise and whatnot--would anyone reading this thing be interested if I did some of that? I've posted a few things over on Apocrypha (and am in the process of posting a question over there as I write this), but I've often held out because I didn't think it was worth calling too much attention to myself.

Any opinions?

Notes

If you haven't seen them already, the next two chapters for "Six" are up on FFN. I'll be waiting a bit before posting the next chapter, though, for plot reasons and for I-need-to-write-some-more-of-it reasons. (I'm four chapters ahead, but I'd like to finish most of it first.)

Also, bad news: I have to write a short medieval romance for school. Though I don't really mind doing it, it'll be taking away from some time that I'd originally intended to use for writing parts of "Six."

Six to Bereavement

The new fic's up. Go check it out--there are a few things that I've changed, for better or for worse. (I think for worse for the first chapter, but for better for the story as a whole.)

Feeling good

Feeling good about this fic. I might post the first chapter tonight or tomorrow, even though I'm not quite done with the whole thing yet. (Still got like, one scene left to go.)

I've been doing a good bit of modification to the first chapter, so the first chapter over on FFN will turn out to be slightly different than the one here.